Reality Check & Continued Lists

Time is passing, as if nothing has happened. Spring arrives and without the knowledge about the disease, everything would be ... just like last year. Actually, this is the only measurable difference. Most likely, I have had the genetic defect for more than three years.
No surprise, the difference is all in my mind. No big revelation, in the end, what is not only in my mind?
Slowly, I try to catch up with the previous everyday life. Today, I even managed to bike to work, pretending that the pain in my toe is ... just in my mind.
Those close to me redirected my attention to the big pros of this disease. As a short list, I will not die after a long unconscious state of e.g. Alzheimer's disease, I will not die for sheer boredom or loneliness. Actually, there is a bunch of really bad things and suffering, I will most likely not experience.
Today, I also got an update on the blood values that are now artificially monitored. Those values that make my blood highly viscous, causing things like the thrombosis are approaching normal values. Which matches the experience that every time I am bleeding, it takes 10 times longer as before until this stops.

A few weeks from now and most likely, I will be able to live my everyday life as before. Hence, the real problem is, has and will be, my mind. Tonight, I will have the chance to see one of the few ZEN masters here where I live (You guess correct, I am not living in Japan :D). Most likely, this will not inspire me to continue any of these list. I guess, I have to expect the unexpected or even trivial, i.e. the one moment in time. It is very hard to be prepared for this, as it seems too easy.